.
When picking up Ikram from tuition yesterday, he insisted that we made a pit stop at the Burger King drive-through counter.
mama: wasn't it only 2 days ago that we were there and you ordered practically everything edible shown on the bill board at the drive through counter?
Ikram: yes, but I have a crave for the black pepper beef whooper now!
mama: ...(suddenly switching into cantonese slang)... wah..like dis arr, 'towkey babi' osso can go bengklap oh!!!
Ikram: why must you be a 'towkey babi'? tak boleh jadi towkey ayam ke, towkey lembu ke??....
mama: babi punya halege mahal oh! and everything on the carcass can be sold and eaten, mah...
Ikram: but if you are a towkey lembu or towkey ayam, you have a wider range of consumers and you will be able to make more money out of the sheer volume sold..
mama: ~~daa~~~(macam aku tak tau!!!!)
Children nowadays are not like when we were young. They can think subjectively and above all they have a clear line of communication with us parents.
When I was small, my mother appeared to always be angry at me. On bad days she would call me names, and she particularly damaged my entire self-esteem by repeatedly saying that my face looked like 'pu** naik tangga', (translated as 'the ladies private part while she walks up the stairs')....imagine......imagine.....
I was annoyed and of course completely unhappy, but remained silent. Being the innocent kids at that age, I accepted my appearance, but I was more frightened for her. My ustazah in the religious school of the sekolah agama Parit Jawa told us that whoever swear (as per 'mencarut'), in the life after death, her mouth will be split wide open until it tears right up to the ears, and red hot glowing embers will be shoved down the throat. I did not wish that to happen to my mother no matter what a nuisance she thought of me.
I wonder what would my children's reaction be if I were to requote that idiom infront of them!...
Not that I have the slightest intention of ever doing so!
For the record: my level of confidence and self-esteem were re-instated the moment I met papa, who thought that I looked more glamorous than the Miss Universe of 1978 after all.
.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Thursday, January 26, 2006
ZOMBIE
.
It has been only a month into the new school year, but Ikram and I are already semi-zombies.....
Yesterday after coming back from school, I saw him shoving his soiled sports attire into the refrigerator! instead of the washing machine......
Ikram: mama, may I ponteng from the tuition today? I'm soooo tired because of the sports practise in school today!
mama: tak boleh lah Ikram, kalau mama start allowing you to ponteng once, your brain will try to work on the simple path again and choose ponteng as an option. If I say no, your subconscious mind will never recognise the word!
Ikram: but I'm so tired, mama!
mama: Takpe, tell Mrs.Radha that you are very tired and request for her to work slowly with you!
Ikram: mama, the word slow never appear in Mrs. Radha's vocabulary...
I agree that Ikram's schedule has been very hectic thus far, from dawn to dusk.
Monday: 7am-4pm school, 5pm-7pm Accounts tuition.
Tuesday-Thursday: 7am-4pm school, 5pm-7pm Additional Maths tuition.
Friday: 7am-12.30pm school, 3.30pm-5pm modern maths tuition.
Saturday: 7am-1pm school.
Sunday: the only day able to breathe.....
mama:Ikram sabar lah, plod on..it's for your own good! You need to sacrifice ONLY for this year!!!, please....
In-between I try to shower him with lots of materialistic motivational items like his phone top-up credit, his favourite fast food and double dose of daily allowance.
If Ikram is to obtain 12As in his SPM, I may get 13, an additional A for 'parental support', double-majoring in 'nagging' and 'child bribery'......
This morning after we rushed into the car, I forgot something.
mama: Ikram, your water bottle?
Ikram: yeah I have it in my bag,
mama: with yesterday's water?
Ikram: No, I top it up myself,
mama: where do you take the drinking water from?
Ikram: the toilet bowl,
mama: good, clever boy.....
It's obvious that we have no more humour, and it's still early in the morning.
Since Ikram 'suffered' too much already, I decided to allow him to go to the movie last Sunday, to loosen up some mental knots.
After driving for 20 minutes, I parked the car.
Ikram: Eerr, mama, this is Mrs. Radha's house!
mama: yeah...
Ikram: BUT, I'm going to see a movie at the cinemaplex in One Utama!!! and you are supposed to send me THERE!
Yes comrade, I'm now zombier than thou!
.
It has been only a month into the new school year, but Ikram and I are already semi-zombies.....
Yesterday after coming back from school, I saw him shoving his soiled sports attire into the refrigerator! instead of the washing machine......
Ikram: mama, may I ponteng from the tuition today? I'm soooo tired because of the sports practise in school today!
mama: tak boleh lah Ikram, kalau mama start allowing you to ponteng once, your brain will try to work on the simple path again and choose ponteng as an option. If I say no, your subconscious mind will never recognise the word!
Ikram: but I'm so tired, mama!
mama: Takpe, tell Mrs.Radha that you are very tired and request for her to work slowly with you!
Ikram: mama, the word slow never appear in Mrs. Radha's vocabulary...
I agree that Ikram's schedule has been very hectic thus far, from dawn to dusk.
Monday: 7am-4pm school, 5pm-7pm Accounts tuition.
Tuesday-Thursday: 7am-4pm school, 5pm-7pm Additional Maths tuition.
Friday: 7am-12.30pm school, 3.30pm-5pm modern maths tuition.
Saturday: 7am-1pm school.
Sunday: the only day able to breathe.....
mama:Ikram sabar lah, plod on..it's for your own good! You need to sacrifice ONLY for this year!!!, please....
In-between I try to shower him with lots of materialistic motivational items like his phone top-up credit, his favourite fast food and double dose of daily allowance.
If Ikram is to obtain 12As in his SPM, I may get 13, an additional A for 'parental support', double-majoring in 'nagging' and 'child bribery'......
This morning after we rushed into the car, I forgot something.
mama: Ikram, your water bottle?
Ikram: yeah I have it in my bag,
mama: with yesterday's water?
Ikram: No, I top it up myself,
mama: where do you take the drinking water from?
Ikram: the toilet bowl,
mama: good, clever boy.....
It's obvious that we have no more humour, and it's still early in the morning.
Since Ikram 'suffered' too much already, I decided to allow him to go to the movie last Sunday, to loosen up some mental knots.
After driving for 20 minutes, I parked the car.
Ikram: Eerr, mama, this is Mrs. Radha's house!
mama: yeah...
Ikram: BUT, I'm going to see a movie at the cinemaplex in One Utama!!! and you are supposed to send me THERE!
Yes comrade, I'm now zombier than thou!
.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Ever heard of the FLUFFY PANCAKE?
.
I was stalking the Sentraalstation and ended up at Anasalwa's page. I drooled at the picture she posted on the fluffy pancake that she expertly made for all her friends. I peeped at the ingredients..OK...not so tricky, and decided to make one the moment I arrived home.
1/2 cup of milk, sure,
1/2 cup of flour, easy weasy,
2 eggs, no sweat,
1 tablespoon of sugar, kid's job,
mix them all in a blender, OK, bibik take out the blender for me , please....
nak expert sikit , put a drop of vanilla essence sebab taknak bau eggs...cewah!!
3 tablespoon of unsalted butter. senang ba, melt it in the pan and pour into a caserole.
preheat the oven.
Pour the blended mixture on top of the melted butter in the caserole and send it into the oven.
Wait for 20 mins. No, DO NOT open the oven door no matter how tempted you are, that's what Anasalwa fiercely cautioned!....
If you are too anxious, go see your orchids first.... Do not answer that phone call from your mother-in-law as that will take at least 45 mins.
then,
ringggg....(the timer),
viola,
out of the oven!!
But how come Anasalwa's fluffy pancake looked like this:
Anasalwa, pijam gambar, eh!
While mine turned out to be like this?????
pathetic,
kurus kering sekemperr!!!!
Could it be due to geographical differences, you know, locally made goods are supposed to be inferior compared to foreign ones! That's what they said about Proton cars....
Alamak, fedup lah! my fluffy pancake was in reality so thin, so small to be shared with 3 kids in my kitchen. Besides Dilla's boyfriend suddenly appeared at the door.
Auntie buat aper tu? Sedapnya!
Aik, belum makan dah sedap?
A model future son-in-law, you can have my share!
An hour later, I was back in the kitchen, this time making the not so ambitious, ordinary looking and ever so humble lempeng looking like this:
yummy...yummy....
I could hear papa's famous words: "cooking is obviously not your expert material lah mama, go count your money instead, that's what you do best!!"
mama: he,he, tenkiu papa, dat's wai I veri de lev yu!!.....
.
I was stalking the Sentraalstation and ended up at Anasalwa's page. I drooled at the picture she posted on the fluffy pancake that she expertly made for all her friends. I peeped at the ingredients..OK...not so tricky, and decided to make one the moment I arrived home.
1/2 cup of milk, sure,
1/2 cup of flour, easy weasy,
2 eggs, no sweat,
1 tablespoon of sugar, kid's job,
mix them all in a blender, OK, bibik take out the blender for me , please....
nak expert sikit , put a drop of vanilla essence sebab taknak bau eggs...cewah!!
3 tablespoon of unsalted butter. senang ba, melt it in the pan and pour into a caserole.
preheat the oven.
Pour the blended mixture on top of the melted butter in the caserole and send it into the oven.
Wait for 20 mins. No, DO NOT open the oven door no matter how tempted you are, that's what Anasalwa fiercely cautioned!....
If you are too anxious, go see your orchids first.... Do not answer that phone call from your mother-in-law as that will take at least 45 mins.
then,
ringggg....(the timer),
viola,
out of the oven!!
But how come Anasalwa's fluffy pancake looked like this:
Anasalwa, pijam gambar, eh!
While mine turned out to be like this?????
pathetic,
kurus kering sekemperr!!!!
Could it be due to geographical differences, you know, locally made goods are supposed to be inferior compared to foreign ones! That's what they said about Proton cars....
Alamak, fedup lah! my fluffy pancake was in reality so thin, so small to be shared with 3 kids in my kitchen. Besides Dilla's boyfriend suddenly appeared at the door.
Auntie buat aper tu? Sedapnya!
Aik, belum makan dah sedap?
A model future son-in-law, you can have my share!
An hour later, I was back in the kitchen, this time making the not so ambitious, ordinary looking and ever so humble lempeng looking like this:
yummy...yummy....
I could hear papa's famous words: "cooking is obviously not your expert material lah mama, go count your money instead, that's what you do best!!"
mama: he,he, tenkiu papa, dat's wai I veri de lev yu!!.....
.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Papa's 5Mins. Fame
.
....."Tuan tuan dan puan puan, kita akan mendarat sebentar lagi. Sila pastikan anda berada ditempat duduk masing masing dan pasangkan tali pinggang keledar sehingga anda diberitahu kelak"......
Papa said he was being interviewed by Aidid Marcello, mid air between Kuala Lumpur and Kota Kinabalu, while conducting a safety procedures exercise to a group of charter flight crew who will then operate the aircraft during Haj season.
mama: yeah, whatever.....
Last saturday I saw a few snapshots over TV3, reminding us to watch Majalah 3:
...'pastikan anda menonton Majalah 3 malam ini untuk mengetahui bagaimana persiapan mengenai penghantaran jemaah haji ke Mekah dilakukan'....
Ooooo...this must be the program that papa was telling me about!!!!
Quickly, quickly, got hold of the phone, must tell my mother to watch the program tonight!! She must have another reason to be proud of the Son-in-law, what!
By 9pm, papa, mama and Imran were already infront of the TV.
We saw papa giving a safety briefing to the aircrew on what to do in the event of an emergency, and a short discussion with Aidid after that.
We went like, wah...Ooooo....wahh.....
One minute after that the first call came from my nephew, Akmal.
Akmal: Ibu Teh! (yeah that's me), Mal nampak macam kenal ajer orang yang appear kat Majalah 3 tadi!
mama: ye, maklum lah orang femes....
Then came a call from Aida, my niece.
Aida: Ibu Teh! Did you watch Majalah 3? I saw papa Aziz!!!!
mama: well..tengok. Biasa lah Aida, kerja dia.....
Then my mother called.
Emak: Aku tengok bukan main garang lagi Aziz mengajar budak tu jerit! (memang lah kena jerit bila nak suruh orang evacuate the aircraft, tak kan lah nak romantik2 macam dalam kelambu pulak!) . Padan lah bila aku dalam kapal terbang, asyik kena beri makan tak sudah2, rupa2nya diorang takut kat Aziz!
I wanted to tell her that the inflight service is like that, regardless of whether your son-in-law is the flight operations manager or not! She may even request for champagne if she wishes....
Then there were calls from uncles, aunties, acknowledging papa's guest appearance on the documentary......
mama: ooo, yeah, part of his job......(*not excited, humble, nothing out of the ordinary*...)
Yesterday I received a call from our masseau, Maria.
Maria: Datin! (she insists that she must call me Datin although papa never made any contribution to the royal household to earn it), hari tu saya nampak Datuk kat televisen!
No wonder Ayah Pin's wives went into hiding the moment he appeared on TV!!!!
The guest artist:
'Nana Tanjung',
Anak Pak Usin dressar,
Cucu Tok Aji Arip......
.
.
....."Tuan tuan dan puan puan, kita akan mendarat sebentar lagi. Sila pastikan anda berada ditempat duduk masing masing dan pasangkan tali pinggang keledar sehingga anda diberitahu kelak"......
Papa said he was being interviewed by Aidid Marcello, mid air between Kuala Lumpur and Kota Kinabalu, while conducting a safety procedures exercise to a group of charter flight crew who will then operate the aircraft during Haj season.
mama: yeah, whatever.....
Last saturday I saw a few snapshots over TV3, reminding us to watch Majalah 3:
...'pastikan anda menonton Majalah 3 malam ini untuk mengetahui bagaimana persiapan mengenai penghantaran jemaah haji ke Mekah dilakukan'....
Ooooo...this must be the program that papa was telling me about!!!!
Quickly, quickly, got hold of the phone, must tell my mother to watch the program tonight!! She must have another reason to be proud of the Son-in-law, what!
By 9pm, papa, mama and Imran were already infront of the TV.
We saw papa giving a safety briefing to the aircrew on what to do in the event of an emergency, and a short discussion with Aidid after that.
We went like, wah...Ooooo....wahh.....
One minute after that the first call came from my nephew, Akmal.
Akmal: Ibu Teh! (yeah that's me), Mal nampak macam kenal ajer orang yang appear kat Majalah 3 tadi!
mama: ye, maklum lah orang femes....
Then came a call from Aida, my niece.
Aida: Ibu Teh! Did you watch Majalah 3? I saw papa Aziz!!!!
mama: well..tengok. Biasa lah Aida, kerja dia.....
Then my mother called.
Emak: Aku tengok bukan main garang lagi Aziz mengajar budak tu jerit! (memang lah kena jerit bila nak suruh orang evacuate the aircraft, tak kan lah nak romantik2 macam dalam kelambu pulak!) . Padan lah bila aku dalam kapal terbang, asyik kena beri makan tak sudah2, rupa2nya diorang takut kat Aziz!
I wanted to tell her that the inflight service is like that, regardless of whether your son-in-law is the flight operations manager or not! She may even request for champagne if she wishes....
Then there were calls from uncles, aunties, acknowledging papa's guest appearance on the documentary......
mama: ooo, yeah, part of his job......(*not excited, humble, nothing out of the ordinary*...)
Yesterday I received a call from our masseau, Maria.
Maria: Datin! (she insists that she must call me Datin although papa never made any contribution to the royal household to earn it), hari tu saya nampak Datuk kat televisen!
No wonder Ayah Pin's wives went into hiding the moment he appeared on TV!!!!
The guest artist:
'Nana Tanjung',
Anak Pak Usin dressar,
Cucu Tok Aji Arip......
.
.
GOOD LUCK, DILLA!!
.
Dilla is sitting for her exam again, I'm not sure about the current semester system, everytime it's final sem exam and it's final sem exam again!!....(During my time, it's end of year exam, period.)
After the last paper, she sms and told me the exam was "susah giler! Nak giler pun tak susah macam ni!".....
This time, before she went back to campus, I handed an extra pocket money for the week.
Dilla: Naper banyak sangat mama bagi Dilla ni?
mama: Nak rasuah Dilla supaya dapat inspirasi. Masa nak periksa ni jangan nak demam, pengsan (yes, she fainted once before a paper), muntah or tumbuh ketumbit!! (and she customarily has that growth on her upper eyelid everytime she is stressful, wonder why??)..
However, the good news is Dilla has already received a job offer from Ernst&Young inviting her to join the company upon the completion of her degree course!
Dilla told me that she was once interviewed by MICPA the reason why she wanted to be an accountant?
Dilla: My mother asked me to!
mama: he,he,he.....
Continue to work harder, Dilla,..(and the rasuah shall continue)
You have nothing to loose...(by listening to your mother)
Best of luck in everything you do!..
and remember to start paying for your PTPTN soon....
Dilla is sitting for her exam again, I'm not sure about the current semester system, everytime it's final sem exam and it's final sem exam again!!....(During my time, it's end of year exam, period.)
After the last paper, she sms and told me the exam was "susah giler! Nak giler pun tak susah macam ni!".....
This time, before she went back to campus, I handed an extra pocket money for the week.
Dilla: Naper banyak sangat mama bagi Dilla ni?
mama: Nak rasuah Dilla supaya dapat inspirasi. Masa nak periksa ni jangan nak demam, pengsan (yes, she fainted once before a paper), muntah or tumbuh ketumbit!! (and she customarily has that growth on her upper eyelid everytime she is stressful, wonder why??)..
However, the good news is Dilla has already received a job offer from Ernst&Young inviting her to join the company upon the completion of her degree course!
Dilla told me that she was once interviewed by MICPA the reason why she wanted to be an accountant?
Dilla: My mother asked me to!
mama: he,he,he.....
Continue to work harder, Dilla,..(and the rasuah shall continue)
You have nothing to loose...(by listening to your mother)
Best of luck in everything you do!..
and remember to start paying for your PTPTN soon....
Monday, January 09, 2006
Mycocyte Invasion.
.
Last 2 weeks, papa was complaining about the rashes which suddenly appeared at his lower back. It's itchy and annoying, he said, so, off he went to see Dr. Koo, our family physician.
Dr. Koo diagnosed the symptom as allergy and prescribed some anti-allergy tablets and a cream. After 3 days, the rashes became worse and spread to his upper back, and they appeared in bigger red dots all over (orang tanjung kata lagu kelopak garam). Papa made another trip to the doc and he tried anti fungus treatment instead.
But unfortunately, the rashes spread further to his shoulder and chest. Wah!! this has become too much! Papa scratched and scratched while sleeping and the bed shook throughout the night until I nearly got motion sickness! Fancy I never felt the motion sickness, while on the bed, when I was younger!:)..
So off papa went to confront Dr.Koo for the 3rd time in 2 weeks! Dr.Koo asked papa if we keep pets at home? Just incase he got the fungus from the pet, the source of infection need to be treated in order to eliminate papa's rashes completely. Papa came home and inform me that his rashes are courtesy of my cats!
mama: What? The cats has been in my arms, on my cheeks, and has been sleeping with me for the past 3 years, I ain't got no fungus! You can attest to that!
papa: Ya, perhaps they didn't have fungus before, but they do now! Why don't you get them checked?
I made appointment with the vet under protest, not before I marched into Dr.Koo's clinic!
mama: Why MUST you accused my cats?
Dr.Koo: OOoops, sorry, did I touch raw nerves? I could not eliminate the possibility, just incase..
mama: there are 10001 'just incases' that you could quote, eg. incase papa used new soap, new detergent on the laundry, towel washed not too clean, gatal food...err, why do you even overrule measle?
Dr.Koo: *squint* *squeeze forehead**think harder*.....No, cannot be, he is too old for measle!!
So, off we went to the vet..The children were so nervous that Furry peed in the cage and Priyanka shiverred so much until her carrier shook.
Tu lah papa, ni semua sebab you gatai!
The moment we entered the vet's clinic, papa sneezed and coughed, so, he stayed outside, and I was left struggling with the kiddos in the consultation room while the Dr. ran a thorough check on them..
Lo and behold, she found bald patches on both Furry and Priyanka and told me that it could be caused by any 2 types of fungus called ***** and *****.
mama: never mind what the fungus is christianed as,I'm not going to sit for an exam, just treat them!..
I quickly glanced at papa outside, hopefully he won't find out that my protest was over nothing..
I saw him having a very interesting conversation with a lady. I bet he forgot about me and my fungied kids in the clinic.
After the treatment, I signalled for papa to help carry the carriers to the car.
papa: so what did the vet said?
mama: alah, they just have ACNE!...(macam takde ape hal...)
mama: Amboi, bukan main lagi you berborak outside! You bukan boleh jumpa orang yang ada telinga mesti nak cerita yang bukan2, ntah2 cerita pasal MAS dah nak bankrupt, or, how unsafe AirAsia aircrafts are!
papa: Tak lah, mama. That lady asked me about the collapsed building in Makkah, it's so interesting, even a non-muslim is aware of the goings on during Haj season!
OOoh, by the way, she asked if you were ONCE a beauty queen?!
mama: Hah??..Apalagi, apalagi dia kata?????!!!!????....:))
papa: ntah, I bukan suka sangat cerita yang bukan2......
Last 2 weeks, papa was complaining about the rashes which suddenly appeared at his lower back. It's itchy and annoying, he said, so, off he went to see Dr. Koo, our family physician.
Dr. Koo diagnosed the symptom as allergy and prescribed some anti-allergy tablets and a cream. After 3 days, the rashes became worse and spread to his upper back, and they appeared in bigger red dots all over (orang tanjung kata lagu kelopak garam). Papa made another trip to the doc and he tried anti fungus treatment instead.
But unfortunately, the rashes spread further to his shoulder and chest. Wah!! this has become too much! Papa scratched and scratched while sleeping and the bed shook throughout the night until I nearly got motion sickness! Fancy I never felt the motion sickness, while on the bed, when I was younger!:)..
So off papa went to confront Dr.Koo for the 3rd time in 2 weeks! Dr.Koo asked papa if we keep pets at home? Just incase he got the fungus from the pet, the source of infection need to be treated in order to eliminate papa's rashes completely. Papa came home and inform me that his rashes are courtesy of my cats!
mama: What? The cats has been in my arms, on my cheeks, and has been sleeping with me for the past 3 years, I ain't got no fungus! You can attest to that!
papa: Ya, perhaps they didn't have fungus before, but they do now! Why don't you get them checked?
I made appointment with the vet under protest, not before I marched into Dr.Koo's clinic!
mama: Why MUST you accused my cats?
Dr.Koo: OOoops, sorry, did I touch raw nerves? I could not eliminate the possibility, just incase..
mama: there are 10001 'just incases' that you could quote, eg. incase papa used new soap, new detergent on the laundry, towel washed not too clean, gatal food...err, why do you even overrule measle?
Dr.Koo: *squint* *squeeze forehead**think harder*.....No, cannot be, he is too old for measle!!
So, off we went to the vet..The children were so nervous that Furry peed in the cage and Priyanka shiverred so much until her carrier shook.
Tu lah papa, ni semua sebab you gatai!
The moment we entered the vet's clinic, papa sneezed and coughed, so, he stayed outside, and I was left struggling with the kiddos in the consultation room while the Dr. ran a thorough check on them..
Lo and behold, she found bald patches on both Furry and Priyanka and told me that it could be caused by any 2 types of fungus called ***** and *****.
mama: never mind what the fungus is christianed as,I'm not going to sit for an exam, just treat them!..
I quickly glanced at papa outside, hopefully he won't find out that my protest was over nothing..
I saw him having a very interesting conversation with a lady. I bet he forgot about me and my fungied kids in the clinic.
After the treatment, I signalled for papa to help carry the carriers to the car.
papa: so what did the vet said?
mama: alah, they just have ACNE!...(macam takde ape hal...)
mama: Amboi, bukan main lagi you berborak outside! You bukan boleh jumpa orang yang ada telinga mesti nak cerita yang bukan2, ntah2 cerita pasal MAS dah nak bankrupt, or, how unsafe AirAsia aircrafts are!
papa: Tak lah, mama. That lady asked me about the collapsed building in Makkah, it's so interesting, even a non-muslim is aware of the goings on during Haj season!
OOoh, by the way, she asked if you were ONCE a beauty queen?!
mama: Hah??..Apalagi, apalagi dia kata?????!!!!????....:))
papa: ntah, I bukan suka sangat cerita yang bukan2......
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