How Old Can You Grow?

On my last birthday, papa asked me what's in my wishlist. I've long forgone my desire for BIG diamond rings (the clamour for rocks fades with age, I suppose!). So, my wish was for me to live happy and healthy and I will be most grateful if God grants me another 20 years on planet earth. By then, all the kids will be having their own families and probably would not need my guidance anymore.

papa: You must be joking!!
mama: What?? Why?? (I was near tears thinking that papa did not have the confidence that I will be celebrating my next birtday).....

papa: You will live till at least 98 years old, just like your grandmother!!
mama: (.....sigh....relief!!!)

My grandmother lives thru all the past episodes of the Japanese occupation (all the gory stories), The British governing Persekutuan Tanah Melayu, Malayan Union and the Proclamation of Merdeka. (Please pardon my historical illustrations, hey, I'm supposed to be a zoologist, you know!).
My grandfather passed away in 1965 when she was..(let me calculate...)58 years old. She has been a widow for the past 40 years! ...40 lonely years....and still counting.....
In my kampong in Kuala Pilah, almost 3/4 of its population are widows. The women tend to outlive the men. Besides my own mother, there is Wan Omok Jorah, Wan Acik Siti, Mak Long Esah, Mak Long Inun, Wan Ngah Jenab, Mak Ngah Sorah, Mak Embong Sumah,Kak Itam, Kak Embong Jauhari....they all live around my mother's house and they are all widows. There was a theory that Negeri Sembilan women are a power to reckon with due to the adat perpatih which they practise, that's probably one of the contributing factors that drives their husbands early to graves!..Ooops, Datuk Seri Rais Yatim doesn't know about this blog, does he?

In fact, my kampong should get the title 'Kampong Janda Baik!'

Back to papa's suggestion, if I am to live as long as my grandmother, I'll have another (a quick back of the envelope calculation, roughly roughly lah!) 49 years to haggle and hassle in this dog eat dog world. And if I follow my grandma's path, papa will be with me for another 9 years?!?

mama: ..Eeeiii, kalau papa takde, mama pun tak nak idup lah!!!
papa:...?!!?(surprise,blurr,confuse,suspicious)....ini mesti case malas nak pergi pasar ni!!....

A BOY CALLED JOHNY

My son Imran goes to SMTTDI, a public school, very much out of his own choice. It was a deal I striked with him even before he sat for his UPSR. He was begging me not to enroll him at the private school where his brother Ikram goes to, as none of his present friends will be going there to further their secondary education. Friends, obviously, are very important to him.
I told him that he may continue his studies at SMTTDI provided he scored 5As in his UPSR, anything less, he'll be Ikram's schoolmate! He miraculously obtained 5As and I have to keep my promise.

Imran told me that his school has a mixture of students from various economic status. There are the rich from elite Taman Tun Dr. Ismail and the surrounding housing estates, the middle class from Kg. Sg. Penchala, there are also students from rumah Yayasan Anak Yatim, and from the orang asli settlement of Kg. Bukit Lanjan. He tells me a lot of stories regarding his school chumps each time I drive him to and from school.

Imran said, in another class, there is a boy whose name is Johny Bin Ali. At Form one, and after 6 years of primary education, he still cannot read or write. He has no idea which school the boy went to before, because Johny doesn't even speak, except amongst a few orang asli boys who are a little bit better than him. Johny wears a dirty shirt (looks like it has never been washed), a pair of trousers which is full of murals and the teacher said he sleeps all the time in class. The other day, someone must have donated a pair of new school shoes to him. During recess, he shook Imran's leg, pointed to Imran's shoes and to his as well. Imran asked:oh, nak ikat tali kasut? Johny nodded. Imran taught him how to tie the shoelace on one shoe and asked him to try do it for himself on the other.

Johny doesn't get punished for not wearing the school tie, obtains free food from the abang who sells burger and hotdog at the canteen. And, whenever he meets Imran during recess, he indicates his forefinger asking for RM1 to buy drink.

mama:Imran, dahlah, toksah cerita pasal Johny lagi, mama sedih lah! Nah mama bagi extra pocket money for you to donate to Johny.......

Imagine, 10 years from now, what and where will Johny be????.....

The Apprentice

"You can fly higher than an eagle, I'll be the wind beneath your wings...."

Left to right:
The future Telecommunication Engineer, a Doctor, a Property Developer and an Accountant.

But when they were smaller, they said they aspired to be(in the same order):
an Askar, The Pencari Madu Lebah, a Driver kereta Bomba and a Kindergarten teacher.
I was quietly gasping over the potential of my ROI (Return On Investment)......

My travels around the world

I used to tell the gang, in the event that I unintentionally finished up all my wealth in my lifetime and left you all nothing, I can still be at peace as I've given the opportunity for you to get the best form of education, and the travels that we have done together to open up your minds.....

I could have done more travels if not for the fact that I don't enjoy them if the kids are not around to share the experience. So, any plan will start with the choosing of dates when everybody could spare the time. Of course, in the course of his duty, papa has seen 3/4 of the earth's crust, but often I could not follow due to my chauffer job during school days. I could assign the office driver to send or pick the boys up but most times I have to suffer even more listening to many complaints:
'This Uncle Mat is always late!!!,
'Why can't uncle Mat park nearer to the gate? I have to walk soooo far,
'Does uncle Mat know how many times I have to tawaf around the school before he sees me??? (this episode prompts me to call Mat on the phone all the way from Makkah,while doing my pilgrimage!!).
A tear jerker used to come from Ikram: mama, are you too busy today to even pick me up from school????
That's it folks, that's the beginning of my fulltime career as a professional schoolcar driver.

So, these are the places that we managed to see so far:-

1994: Medan, Brastagi, Indonesia.
1995: Tokyo, Japan.
1996: Los Angeles, California.
: Jakarta, Bandung, Indonesia.
1997: Tour of Europe covering UK, Belgium,Holland,Germany,Switzerland and France.
1998: Hawaii, USA.
1999: Hong Kong, ROC.
2000: New York,
: Orlando, Florida
2001: Beijing, China.
2002: Umrah,
: Gold Coast, Australia.
2003: Haj.
: Umrah.
2005: London, UK.

And we do enjoy our numerous trips to Singapore for Christmas shopping..

Oooopss,... errrr,... we've not been to Kelantan yet!!!!!

SPM Candidate, 2006

My elder son, Ikram, walked into my room and asked everybody to be quiet as he has an important meeting with mama. He brought a long list with him and told me that he has to decide on the subjects to take for his SPM next year.

SPM??? I broke into cold sweat., not so soon....I mean Ikram just sat for his PMR last year. I have not recovered from the stress yet. We are talking about a dude who questioned my obsessions with the mandatory A's that he has to show me in his exam slip.

Ikram: well mama, if you know I'm good, then I'm good, even if I get 8Bs in my PMR.
mama: kepala hotak hang!!!!

One day while fetching him from a tae-kwon-do class, he suggested that he doesn't have to sit for all his science subjects, it's easier if he concentrates and become a tae-kwon-do instructor instead!
mama: kalau hang nak jadi kaki pukui, might as well I send you to a Tamil school from the beginning! tak payah habiskan duit pergi Sri Bestari!!!
Ikram: mama, can't you take it with humour?
mama: no humour when 2 issues are involved, 1) your education 2)my money!

Now Ikram told me that he can sign up for a total of 104 subjects for his SPM next year.
mama: so, you want to take 103 subjects?
Ikram: what subject do you want me to drop, then?
mama: I don't know, may be Bahasa Tamil??
Ikram: Oh, no! mama, I'm so looking forward to ace that subject!!!!

He must have gotten his gene from somewhere...sounds familiar...

After a lenghty EGM, I agreed to Ikram sitting for 12 subjects. Besides the normal science package, he is signing up for additional papers for ESL, Tassaur Islam and prinsip Akaun. While filling up the form to be submitted together with the fees, he shot a last question:

'Are you sure you don't want me to sign up for "penjagaan muka dan rambut", or "membaikpulih basikal"?????

mama:....Ikram!!!!!!!!##%%$$^&*!! Jaga muka hang dulu, pi shave!!!You are beginning to look like Shih Huang Ti!!!!
Ikram: Who is this dude, Shih Huang Ti??
mama: He's my great, great, great grandfather!!!!

My blood pressure must have registered 180:90, long before the exam season starts.....

BEST OF LUCK, TASYA!!

I called Tasya on her hand phone and she told me that she is doing a very last minute revision for a thesis presentation which will take place within the next hour.

Good Luck, darling! Papa and mama sentiasa berdoa untuk kejayaan Tasya!

I've been found out!

Late yesterday evening, I received an sms from Tasya:

'Ma! Ya Allah, mama pun ada blog?? Terkejut Asya, ha, ha, ha..Papa tau ke ni??.. '

and my prompt reply was:

'Papa tak boleh tau ke? It's not like as if I'm having an affair, is it? Tasya first to read my blog! No, I'm not gay!...'

Bila agaknya Dillot akan discover my blog?!#%^&*?? .......


No worries, mate! we'll just treat it as pages from a diary. and as what Bridget Jones said at the end of the movie: 'Diaries are, as you know, full of crap!!!'..........

Da Katz

I am totally, wholly, completely smitten by my cats. I love them and in my house, my 7 cats are treated like my very own children.

It all started in May 2003, when we just reached home from Imran's school. (I was and still am his money-machine chauffer). Imran spotted this pathetic looking creature, a white little thing with a kink tail at our rubbish bin. Someone must have thrown a poor kitten right infront of our house. Imran scooped him up, took him in, washed and fed him and begged me to take care of the poor fella. Within an hour we found ourselves at a pet's store, shopping for kitten's things like a litter box, a cage, some toys and of course his food and milk. We called him 'Putih' due to his coat colour, but later on, as per customary in my household, he is reffered to as Puts, putsy-mutsy etc.....

This guy got an idea that he is an only child, cos, he is the only one in the house with a tail(albeit a kinked one)! He got spoiled rotten, fancies only boiled fish and Kentucky fried chicken! He eats everybody up, and everybody in the house including the maid has at least one scar on either the arm or the leg! He also sprayed me with his urine while I'm still alive and standing. One sunday morning, he jumped straight on top of papa, still sleeping on the bed, and watered him down completely from the top of his comforter.......
We figured out that puts must be lonely and needed a friend.Imran and I decided to buy a girlfriend for him. That's how we ended up carting Irma home one evening in December 2003... and as nature has it, I am the proud grandma of 3 kiddos whom Tasya and I personally assisted to be delivered on 2ndJuly 2004. Imran called them Priyanka (because of her southern Indian look), Bella and Fur.

As the house is already too crowded by now, they have all been spayed. Alas, last May we picked up another 2 strays when we were in Kuala Pilah visiting my mother. The kittens were so sick, covered with fungus, having bad diarrhoea and nearly blind. we put them in a box and brought them back with us. The family vet did a good job on them and they got a second lease of life. Now they are the adopted children of puts and Irma, we call them ChiHuaHua and Tuxedo.
Papa said no more cats please, cos, each time he bought fish at tesco, someone will surely comment if he is cooking laksa. He wouldn't want to be buying an amount where someone will suspect that he is a pasar malam vendor any time soon.

Irma is the one closest to me. She waits for me to arrive home, everyday. The moment my car is parked, somehow, she will appear from somewhere. She will then be at my feet and will even wait up infront of the bathroom. Papa designates her as my PA/Aide-de-camp/official autobiographer/executive contributor towards my sneezing bouts........

One day while driving Imran to school I declared: 'nanti bila mama dah tua and has no more use of my money, I want to convert my land in Kuang to be a stray cats' sanctuary, where they can roam around freely at the gardens. They will have their very own caretakers and inhouse vet, all cats are welcomed.'
Imran: when you are about to have no use of your money, kindly notify me first, okey!!!.......

IRMA!!!!........

Malam Nisfu Shaaban

I was explaining over lunch to the gang that tonight is 'malam nisfu shaaban'. Imran asked what's that? well, it's the time of the year where all your good and bad deeds which has been recorded throughout the year be sent up to heaven, and your new record book for this year will be started immediately after the maghrib prayers. You certainly want the first recording be something fantastic like reading the surah Yassin, rather than which team wins in the match between Manchester United vs. Liverpool tonight!

Imran: Really? When does this start? this year?
Mama: Holy cow, Imran! This exercise had been on since the days of the prophet!!!!!......

Tasya, buah hati pengarang jantung?!?

Yesterday, my daughter tasya sent an sms:'mama, are you free, can you call me?'..She is currently in UK studying for her Masters in Engineering at a very prestigious College. We are soooo proud of her! I graduated from a local university when she was 25 days old, and determined that she is going to achieve better things in life as compared to mine!

Back to the call, I, as usual, instantly dialled her number.

mama: Tasy, what's up?
Tasy: mama, what are you doing? what time is it?
mama: It's 3.30pm, I've just woken up from my afternoon slumber. Ponteng from office, Papa baru habis 3days conference, dia take a break,so, mama nak break jugak! How's your thesis?
Tasy: Oh, OK, dah siap, alhamdulillah....next week dah nak hantar, I'll be staying until December, dah tak sabar nak balik m'sia. mama, ma ingat tak kawan tasy yang nama A*** tu? alah yang mama kata cantik macam TV3 newsreader tu? Dia dah nak kawin!!!!! Pastu the thing is, mama, dengar betul2 no interruption: emak dia nak meminang tasy untuk abang dia, okey!!!! abang dia very succesful exec, drive BMW, very single but 30 years old! emak dia kenan sangat kat tasy, nak tunggu tasy habis belajar!
mama: eeii, what makes mama kenan kat anak dia? Tak nak lah tasy, dah 30 years old belum kawin2, ntah2 dia gay tak??
Tasy: MAMA!!!! I was thinking of the same thing, macamane mama boleh terfikir macam tu?
mama: mama baca banyak blog budak2 melayu M'sia sekarang, ramai yang gay!
Tasy: Ya Rabbi!!! sejak bila mama baca blog???? ha, ha,ha........

There you are. Reading other peoples' blog can be so useful...

Create a blog!!!

I have been tinkering with an idea of having my own blog. Have been reading others' thoughts thru their blogs for a while now, at first, I was just trying to fill up my time by being a 'kaypoh', later thru some blogs I took a peak at how students overseas try to cope with their lives so that I have more knowledge on how to counsel my daughter who is in UK and having problems every now and then. Some bloggers say that blogging is therapeutic, some treat it as a space to be themselves under anonymousity. Today, I found myself creating one for myself. Let's see where I'll get to be from here............