The recurring nightmare!

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I was sent away to study at a boarding school at age 12, blank as a blank can be. Fate has it that I was to be there for the next 6 years, putting bits and pieces into my young life, learning the tricks of the trade from equally naive friends.

I don't know about others but come to think of it, I have not learnt much about personal survival. We were highly competitive in our studies, but most could not operate a gas stove by the time we left school at age 18!!

We were allowed to go back home to our poor families once a term, (that would be 3 times a year). Those trips home were on the dirty, smelly and stifling train of Keretapi Tanah Melayu. We never questioned it then, but how come there were never enough seats for us to sit in the train which stopped at every station along the way. It was not too bad if I managed to rough it out, struggled with my bag and got a seat if the journey started from Johor Baru to Tampin, the nearest train stop to my kampong. However, I might as well prepare to stand for 5 hours, all the way from Tampin to Johor Baru, because all the seats available would have been taken up by students originating from as far north as Arau!!

I have a feeling that someone had shortchanged us somehow! But it's too late to approach the ACA now, almost 37 years later.....

Those miserable train trips must have affected my psychological well-being, otherwise, why do I continue having nightmares now, after all those years....

I can remember every scene in the nightmare and could even anticipate the ending. It will be either one of these scenarios:-

1) I arrived at an empty Tampin train station, the train and everybody else had left,
2) I went up the wrong train, instead of going down South to Johor Baru, I was on one heading up North to Arau!,
3) I managed to get myself a cosy seat on the train, only to realise that my bag was still at the platform,
4) When we reached Gemas, everybody changed to another train but I was the only one oblivious of the changes and left sitting alone in the empty coach until midnight!
5) arriving at the station when the train has just started moving and I made a sprint towards it!!
Believe me, the last episode will be worse if I was awaken with Papa's arm around me while I would be sweating and panting..

mama: Papa, lain kali kalau mama mengigau, jangan pegang2 mama, tau!
papa: I thought you were sick, you were quivering and shaking....
mama: mama tengah kejar train! Padanlah tak sampai2....You are holding me back!
Boleh???
papa: Lain kali basuh kaki dulu sebelum tidor lah mama!!!!

But the nighmare continues, even with washed feet and all...
On hindsight, it's always missing the train from Tampin to Johor Baru, but not vice-versa....

My friends are currently organizing a 'back to school trip' in commemoration of STF's Golden Jubilee celebration this year.
I am still frighten to go back there.
Perhaps I should get my driver to send me to Tampin train station, buy a first class ticket in the fully aircond VVIP Coach, and travel in style to Johor Baru with my Louis Vutton suitcase...
that would probably break the nightmarish spell once and for all.......




Appearing in person for the first time!

Mama sitting on STF ground, in Dec.1974, minutes before leaving for good, and has since never returned....
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